Let’s jump right into it: Goodfellas co-writer and “Wiseguy” author Nicholas Pileggi is developing a television prequel based on Martin Scorsese’s 1990 classic — wait for it — Goodfellas. I heard your groan and I understand why, but “I got to admit the truth,” I kinda like the idea.

With Scorsese on board, SlashFilm.com did the leg work in reporting Pileggi’s intentions to bring the young goodfellas into our homes.

“Of course, you can’t pick up from Goodfellas, since we murdered everybody, or rather, everybody was murdered! There’s nobody left,” Pileggi said. “But I think we’re going to figure out a way to do the early years – sort of a prequel.”

Like many, Goodfellas is one of my favorite movies of all time. Unlike many, I don’t scoff at the idea of classics being re-imagined. “Normal people don’t act like this,” but as someone who’s into minutiae — and fascinated when reality blends seamlessly into fiction — I embrace Pileggi’s plan.

Scenes I’d like to see (in no particular order):

• Young Tommy shining Billy Batts’ shoes.
• Young Henry and Young Tommy delivering their first mobster beatdown after a neighborhood kid calls wheelchair-bound Michael Hill “a schmuck on wheels.”
• The day young Henry goes to the cab stand for a job.
• The buildup that led to Young Henry pouring gasoline into Cadillac windows and lighting the match.
• Young Johnny Two-Times on his first date: “I’m gonna give you a kiss, give you a kiss.”
• Mentions of “going to the bank” immediately followed by airport robberies.
• Jimmy Conway’s first hit and rise to thief supreme, including how he organized truck robberies and learning which cops he could bribe.
• The rise of Paulie Cicero in East New York, depicting him as a fast-moving criminal before not having to move fast for anybody.
• Random appearances by a young Stacks Edwards all around the city, playing guitar with his band.
• Frank Carbone’s first haircut. Also, constant references to him being cold, foreshadowing the discovery of his body in the meat truck.
• Morrie at the racetrack, constantly scheming in and out of his gambling debts, with his wigs coming off at the wrong time.
• Sonny Bunz opening his first restaurant.
• Spider always looming in the background, glaring at Tommy.
• Spider’s “family of rats” exposed more explicitly as informants.

Given Pileggi’s expertise and mob-related sources from that era, I’m sure he’ll be able to recreate some heists and bring previously untold anecdotes to life while incorporating funny Easter Eggs for fans of the film.

The most significant challenge anyone working on this show will ever be faced with is creating a legitimate sense of danger and conflict for characters whose fates we already know. No scene will ever convince me that Tommy’s life is on the line when the source material already told us he was killed as an adult. No episode can end with Paulie or Jimmy whisked away in handcuffs, because we know, regardless of the allegations, there was no real time and they went right back to the Family.

Only thing that’s clear, in my eyes, is that the show will have no place on network television. HBO, Showtime, and Starz — heck, even FX and Spike — need to be the top candidates. Otherwise, we’re going to get a lot of this:

Just stay away from the garbage, you know what I mean. … Don’t make a jerk out of me, just don’t do it.

-Paul Sorvino as “Paul Cicero”