What’s happening here?

I’m not in the business of making fun of children. I don’t know who Rebecca Black is, and I’m not really interested in digging for details. What I do know is that there is a team of adults behind this atrocity, and I’m too confused right now to Google them.

The thought process behind “Friday” boggles my mind. Someone had to know it was a bad idea before it hit the public for consumption, right?

There had to be doubt on some level. The song is catchy for an infectious hook, but that doesn’t justify releasing it. But someone had to know that this will only exist beyond the summer of 2011 as a joke. I just hope little Miss Rebecca Black was in on it from the beginning. (APR. 3 UPDATE: Turns out she is in on the joke.)

Nothing about this song is a good idea.

The words should have never made it to paper, but that can be forgiven. I’ll even ignore the lyrics about yesterday being Thursday, tomorrow being Saturday, and Sunday coming afterwards. (But we really didn’t need the reminder.)

Things get bad when someone decides it’s okay to record those lyrics to a beat. The studio engineer is irresponsible for mastering the vocals. The people who recorded the video are worse. The special effects team is cruel. And whoever uploaded the video to YouTube needs to be held accountable for their crimes against humanity.

Rebecca Black is only a pawn. She is the face of an unfortunate song, and I sympathize. Someone gave a young, aspiring singer an opportunity to be heard and she went for it. I’ll never criticize her for that. But she needs better people in her corner; people who will sit her down and explain the severity of being linked to this one-click disaster.

I didn’t only watch a really cheesy video for a terrible song, I watched a career end. America does love a good comeback, but misguided teens have an arduous road to travel en route to redemption. Ask “Parks & Recreation” character “Ben Wyatt” about his difficulties living down the “Ice Town” financial failure he coordinated as an 18-year-old mayor.

Sadly, Miss Black will receive the brunt of the criticism for “Friday”. There’s no charity Black can align herself with to make good with mankind.

This song is ill advised on various levels. It’s a testament to the laziness that’s plagued pop music for decades, and really should serve to fuel a demand for better, more creative music. Maybe producers and record execs will finally learn that there are a lot of us who do listen to the lyrics.

Rebecca Black, I forgive you. Don’t read the YouTube comments because the Internet is mean.

**

And don’t think I didn’t see you, Random Rapper Guy. Where did you come from? Who are you? Were you added to give the song some street credibility? I’m just going to call you Street Cred. When you escaped the recording booth, did anyone give you a thumbs up for these bars?

R-B, Rebecca Black
So chillin’ in the front seat (In the front seat)
In the back seat (In the back seat)
I’m drivin’, cruisin’ (Yeah, yeah)
Fast lanes, switchin’ lanes
Wit’ a car up on my side (Woo!)
(C’mon) Passin’ by is a school bus in front of me
Makes tick tock, tick tock, wanna scream
Check my time, it’s Friday, it’s a weekend
We gonna have fun, c’mon, c’mon, y’all

Seriously?

***